Soul Searching
I was talking to my friend Inger several weeks back.
She had just found out that she was going to lose her job. I still had no idea about my own.
She said, "Maybe now I have the excuse to start doing what I'm really supposed to be doing." And it's indeed ended up being a very liberating experience for her in some ways.
I, though, still have my same job, and — though same is a bit of a stretch, considering I have a new boss, and no longer have anyone reporting to me, and am 100% focused on one project — even though I really don't need to worry about looking for other things — unless I am unhappy, which I'm not — it started a good thinking process nonetheless.
So, brought to you by all the job-related turmoil of the last several weeks, Matt's list of ideal jobs (vaguely in the style of Rob Gordon, in High Fidelity):
7. Counselor. Not a school counselor, and not really a psychologist (otherwise I'd still be pursuing that career path, I think), but I'm sure there's some kind of counselor out there that fits my idealistic criteria. I have a knack for it anyway.
6. Ferryman or rice farmer in Asia somewhere. It's really more of an escape fantasy (from when I was in high school — I'd gone through a somewhat suicidal fit of depression my junior or senior year, which ended with me realizing, "Hey, I don't want to get rid of myself — just the situation I'm in. I could fake my own death and run off to China and grow rice for the rest of my life, and no one would be the wiser.") All naive assumptions about how pleasant the pastoral life is aside, there's still a charming simplicity to it all.
5. Professional photographer. Of the artistic, not wedding and prom photo, type. I can't really see this happening, though, even though it is a hobby I fall back on occasionally.
4. Guy who writes music textbooks. I had a favorite piano teacher who did it. Far less pressure than writing serious songs for a living, but you're gratified in knowing that just as many people learn to play your songs as anyone else's.
3. Film critic. Getting paid to do nothing but watch movies? I'd love it. Downside is that I wouldn't feel that I was adding much value to the world, though. If I thought I'd make a good director, I'd rather be doing that, but I can't see it.
2. Computer programmer, or related field. I've always enjoyed working with software development, since I started learning BASIC in 2nd or 3rd grade. To create something, and then watch it come to life on a screen is amazing. Just like music. Or writing, for that matter. Anyway, I figure it's a good sign that that's more or less what I'm doing now.
1. Writer. It's just in me. I don't know why. I don't have anything specific to write about, but maybe that's why I keep writing.
Finally, should I? Sure. Okay, here's the list of the actual "what I want to be when I grow up" career decisions I've made throughout my life. Comparing to the above list is definitely interesting.
1. Astronaut. When I watched the space shuttle Columbia launch for the first time in first grade, I was transfixed. I'd still love to experience weightlessness.
2. Archaeologist. Raiders of the Lost Ark — what more can I say? This was in third grade. In fourth grade I toured an actual archaeological site, and while I found the work still fascinating (though far less adventure-filled than I thought), the idea of living in a tent for most of the rest of my life didn't seem like much fun. I guess I never really wondered where Indiana Jones had slept from one day to the next.
3. Geologist. I went through a rock and mineral phase. Not much to say about it now, other than it got a little dull pretty quickly to me.
4. Parapsychological researcher. Fifth grade. I actual created my own computer-generated Zener card sequences. Interestingly enough, between myself and my friends we had an average 26% success rate (if I remember correctly), which was slightly, but significantly, better than the random-chance 20% expectation.
5. Astronomer. In case I wasn't able to visit the stars, I could at least explore them from home.
6. Linguist. I've always loved languages and alphabets. In sixth grade, out of frustration due to a recent Finnish immigrant girl's propensity for cracking all our secret message codes, my best friend and I realized that it'd be much more difficult for her to interpret a whole new language as opposed to an English (or Finnish?) cipher. The project stayed with me for many years, and aside from losing a lot of the vocabulary notes, I still have the entire grammar (and a decent working knowledge in my head) of the artificial language. "κιε 'aη ym, qenτ." When I got older, I always thought it'd be amazingly romantic to teach it to my significant other, and she and I would be the only two people in the world who could speak it. Who knows — maybe it's still an option.
7. Doctor. Nothing much of interest about that one. I think I was succumbing to primarily materialistic motivations.
8. Psychologist. In high school I realized that I had a gift for talking and listening to people, and that friends and strangers alike were naturally drawn to me when they needed to talk to someone about things. It became my college major.
9. Psychiatrist. Another materialistic diversion — this time in college, as people began to convince me that psychologists made little money in comparison (not to mention, "if you were a psychiatrist, you could at least prescribe medication!" I'm not really sure why people are so caught up on that).
10. Clergy. This one would require a whole separate day to explain, so I'm going to defer.
11. Children's bookstore operator. I love kids. I love books. I know how much I loved to learn as a kid, and it always saddened me to see how many kids are never given the same kinds of encouragement and opportunity to learn cool things that I was. This career idea was used as an argument against me during a breakup discussion, by the way. Draw your own conclusions.
12. Junior high or high school English teacher. I even went so far as applying to graduate school programs for pursuing this career.
13. Internet person. For lack of a better term. It pretty much describes what I do according to my family and non-techie friends, anyway.
She had just found out that she was going to lose her job. I still had no idea about my own.
She said, "Maybe now I have the excuse to start doing what I'm really supposed to be doing." And it's indeed ended up being a very liberating experience for her in some ways.
I, though, still have my same job, and — though same is a bit of a stretch, considering I have a new boss, and no longer have anyone reporting to me, and am 100% focused on one project — even though I really don't need to worry about looking for other things — unless I am unhappy, which I'm not — it started a good thinking process nonetheless.
So, brought to you by all the job-related turmoil of the last several weeks, Matt's list of ideal jobs (vaguely in the style of Rob Gordon, in High Fidelity):
7. Counselor. Not a school counselor, and not really a psychologist (otherwise I'd still be pursuing that career path, I think), but I'm sure there's some kind of counselor out there that fits my idealistic criteria. I have a knack for it anyway.
6. Ferryman or rice farmer in Asia somewhere. It's really more of an escape fantasy (from when I was in high school — I'd gone through a somewhat suicidal fit of depression my junior or senior year, which ended with me realizing, "Hey, I don't want to get rid of myself — just the situation I'm in. I could fake my own death and run off to China and grow rice for the rest of my life, and no one would be the wiser.") All naive assumptions about how pleasant the pastoral life is aside, there's still a charming simplicity to it all.
5. Professional photographer. Of the artistic, not wedding and prom photo, type. I can't really see this happening, though, even though it is a hobby I fall back on occasionally.
4. Guy who writes music textbooks. I had a favorite piano teacher who did it. Far less pressure than writing serious songs for a living, but you're gratified in knowing that just as many people learn to play your songs as anyone else's.
3. Film critic. Getting paid to do nothing but watch movies? I'd love it. Downside is that I wouldn't feel that I was adding much value to the world, though. If I thought I'd make a good director, I'd rather be doing that, but I can't see it.
2. Computer programmer, or related field. I've always enjoyed working with software development, since I started learning BASIC in 2nd or 3rd grade. To create something, and then watch it come to life on a screen is amazing. Just like music. Or writing, for that matter. Anyway, I figure it's a good sign that that's more or less what I'm doing now.
1. Writer. It's just in me. I don't know why. I don't have anything specific to write about, but maybe that's why I keep writing.
Finally, should I? Sure. Okay, here's the list of the actual "what I want to be when I grow up" career decisions I've made throughout my life. Comparing to the above list is definitely interesting.
1. Astronaut. When I watched the space shuttle Columbia launch for the first time in first grade, I was transfixed. I'd still love to experience weightlessness.
2. Archaeologist. Raiders of the Lost Ark — what more can I say? This was in third grade. In fourth grade I toured an actual archaeological site, and while I found the work still fascinating (though far less adventure-filled than I thought), the idea of living in a tent for most of the rest of my life didn't seem like much fun. I guess I never really wondered where Indiana Jones had slept from one day to the next.
3. Geologist. I went through a rock and mineral phase. Not much to say about it now, other than it got a little dull pretty quickly to me.
4. Parapsychological researcher. Fifth grade. I actual created my own computer-generated Zener card sequences. Interestingly enough, between myself and my friends we had an average 26% success rate (if I remember correctly), which was slightly, but significantly, better than the random-chance 20% expectation.
5. Astronomer. In case I wasn't able to visit the stars, I could at least explore them from home.
6. Linguist. I've always loved languages and alphabets. In sixth grade, out of frustration due to a recent Finnish immigrant girl's propensity for cracking all our secret message codes, my best friend and I realized that it'd be much more difficult for her to interpret a whole new language as opposed to an English (or Finnish?) cipher. The project stayed with me for many years, and aside from losing a lot of the vocabulary notes, I still have the entire grammar (and a decent working knowledge in my head) of the artificial language. "κιε 'aη ym, qenτ." When I got older, I always thought it'd be amazingly romantic to teach it to my significant other, and she and I would be the only two people in the world who could speak it. Who knows — maybe it's still an option.
7. Doctor. Nothing much of interest about that one. I think I was succumbing to primarily materialistic motivations.
8. Psychologist. In high school I realized that I had a gift for talking and listening to people, and that friends and strangers alike were naturally drawn to me when they needed to talk to someone about things. It became my college major.
9. Psychiatrist. Another materialistic diversion — this time in college, as people began to convince me that psychologists made little money in comparison (not to mention, "if you were a psychiatrist, you could at least prescribe medication!" I'm not really sure why people are so caught up on that).
10. Clergy. This one would require a whole separate day to explain, so I'm going to defer.
11. Children's bookstore operator. I love kids. I love books. I know how much I loved to learn as a kid, and it always saddened me to see how many kids are never given the same kinds of encouragement and opportunity to learn cool things that I was. This career idea was used as an argument against me during a breakup discussion, by the way. Draw your own conclusions.
12. Junior high or high school English teacher. I even went so far as applying to graduate school programs for pursuing this career.
13. Internet person. For lack of a better term. It pretty much describes what I do according to my family and non-techie friends, anyway.