Moving inventory day
I had an appointment this morning for 11am for a moving representative to come by to inventory things.
Like a responsible person, I had planned on waking up at 7:30 or so and taking care of some last minute gathering, packing, and organizing, so that the mover would not have to look at a huge mess. Unlike a responsible person, I awoke at about 9:15, after what seemed like an hour of nightmares about my new job.
I got up and checked my email, and talked to some friends online, but suddenly the task I'd planned the night before hit me with all its weight.
"Oh my god, the movers are going to be here in 90 minutes and I'm sitting here in my underwear!"
So I abandoned everyone online mid-conversation, threw some food into Ivan's bowl, and jumped into the shower — a very quick, relatively cold shower, I might add. (It takes the hot water a while to get started some mornings).
While drying off, I began thinking of things the movers might need to go through and inventory, and I was getting myself used to the idea of possibly having to reopen some boxes, and realizing that I only had about 45 minutes to take care of these kinds of things, and so on, that when thinking of a couple of DVDs of a "personal" nature a horrible pang of sudden debilitating modesty hit me:
"Oh my god! I MUST HIDE THE PORN!"
I scrambled to throw some pants on, grabbed my DVDs of a Personal Nature, thought quickly about the best place to put them, and decided that my car would be acceptable. I ran towards the front of the apartment, half naked, DoaPN in hand, and reconsidered briefly: "Surely they see all kinds of things all the time — this is silly right? I should just put these back and it'll be no big deal."
No big deal, that is, until, at that very moment, with me standing in my living room half naked and holding a couple of porn DVDs, the cat goes flying past me, my phone starts ringing, and the mover guy rings the front doorbell, 40 minutes ahead of schedule. Looking around desperately, I dunked the DVDs into the kitchen trash bag, shouted at the door that I'd be there in just a minute, made the executive decision to just ignore the ringing phone altogether, threw on the first shirt I could find, and, now feeling a bit sheepish regarding having acted like a 13 year old hiding his Playboy magazines under the mattress, I answered the front door.
I don't know if the mover guy wondered why I was all short of breath.
I don't know if he thought it was strange that I stood there with shirt half-on and a ringing phone in the background.
I don't know if he was amused that my cat, excited by all the activity, was still running laps around the apartment.
But I do know that I let out a little gasp a few minutes later, when, reading one of the pieces of paperwork he gave me, this one listing the items which typically shouldn't be packed to move (fireworks, hazardous chemicals, etc), my eyes immediately homed in on "Video tapes of a personal nature."
Maybe they're just talking about videos of your kids growing up or of your college graduation, but I still couldn't help thinking, "Yeah, I must hide the porn."
Like a responsible person, I had planned on waking up at 7:30 or so and taking care of some last minute gathering, packing, and organizing, so that the mover would not have to look at a huge mess. Unlike a responsible person, I awoke at about 9:15, after what seemed like an hour of nightmares about my new job.
I got up and checked my email, and talked to some friends online, but suddenly the task I'd planned the night before hit me with all its weight.
"Oh my god, the movers are going to be here in 90 minutes and I'm sitting here in my underwear!"
So I abandoned everyone online mid-conversation, threw some food into Ivan's bowl, and jumped into the shower — a very quick, relatively cold shower, I might add. (It takes the hot water a while to get started some mornings).
While drying off, I began thinking of things the movers might need to go through and inventory, and I was getting myself used to the idea of possibly having to reopen some boxes, and realizing that I only had about 45 minutes to take care of these kinds of things, and so on, that when thinking of a couple of DVDs of a "personal" nature a horrible pang of sudden debilitating modesty hit me:
"Oh my god! I MUST HIDE THE PORN!"
I scrambled to throw some pants on, grabbed my DVDs of a Personal Nature, thought quickly about the best place to put them, and decided that my car would be acceptable. I ran towards the front of the apartment, half naked, DoaPN in hand, and reconsidered briefly: "Surely they see all kinds of things all the time — this is silly right? I should just put these back and it'll be no big deal."
No big deal, that is, until, at that very moment, with me standing in my living room half naked and holding a couple of porn DVDs, the cat goes flying past me, my phone starts ringing, and the mover guy rings the front doorbell, 40 minutes ahead of schedule. Looking around desperately, I dunked the DVDs into the kitchen trash bag, shouted at the door that I'd be there in just a minute, made the executive decision to just ignore the ringing phone altogether, threw on the first shirt I could find, and, now feeling a bit sheepish regarding having acted like a 13 year old hiding his Playboy magazines under the mattress, I answered the front door.
I don't know if the mover guy wondered why I was all short of breath.
I don't know if he thought it was strange that I stood there with shirt half-on and a ringing phone in the background.
I don't know if he was amused that my cat, excited by all the activity, was still running laps around the apartment.
But I do know that I let out a little gasp a few minutes later, when, reading one of the pieces of paperwork he gave me, this one listing the items which typically shouldn't be packed to move (fireworks, hazardous chemicals, etc), my eyes immediately homed in on "Video tapes of a personal nature."
Maybe they're just talking about videos of your kids growing up or of your college graduation, but I still couldn't help thinking, "Yeah, I must hide the porn."