Shr
Before my trek into the office today for a meeting (yes, the fact that it was a long meeting on Sunday is a topic for another day), I had vowed to spend a little time in the park with my camera, to try to take some pictures of the little squirrels that always seem so friendly. Since this was later in the day, there were kids in the park, and the squirrels were feeling less social (I'm assuming — of course it could be that the kids ate them already), but there was still one big fat friendly black squirrel industriously chomping on some sort of nut near a group of trees.
I thought, "I've found my photo model."
So, I talked to the little guy, and he inquisitively looked at me, and turned the nut around in his fingers, and went about his nut-munching business.
That is, until I pulled my camera out of my bag, at which point he froze, glared at me, dropped his nut, and ran for the nearest tree like no squirrel had ever run before.
Either he was afraid my camera was going to steal his soul, or, faced with the novel idea of finally seeing his image in print, suddenly realized for the first time in his life that he was naked.
I'm not sure which.
* * *
A discussion earlier about the disadvantages of viewing photos over a very slow dialup connection:
Friend: how did porn get popular before highspeed at home? I just can't see horny guys waiting like this for pictures.
Matt: I know, except back in those days it was kind of like a peepshow
Matt: you see hair
Matt: eyes
Matt: nose
Matt: mouth
Matt: sexy neck
Matt: sexy shoulders
Matt: and OHMYGODTHOSEARESPOOKYBOOBIES!
Friend: LOL
Matt: and then you close the browser window as fast as you can manage
There's a whole long story about spooky boobies, which, instead of telling you now, I'll withhold and let you writhe in unfulfilled anticipation about. Or you can ask this guy.
Really, it's not all that exciting, but it is sort of funny.
* * *
Later on today, during the aforementioned long meeting, my mind was wandering to all sorts of things: watching white sparkles of floatplanes against the mountains outside, thinking that if I wrote a major new work of world religion what it would tell people, and all that.
At one point my mind drifted to a friend's observation after having seen Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon for the first time, when he mused, "You know, I always assumed that Chinese was all wangy, but really, it's nothing but shrr shr shr shrrr shr shr shr? Shr shr shr! Shr shr."
At the time, my studies of Chinese were just beginning, and I knew about 是, which means "yes", "is", "true", and enough other things to justify the "shr" observation all on its own.
During the meeting, now three or so years later, I decided to list off all the "shrs" (or more accurately "shi" in PinYin) that I could think of. I'm not necessarily sure why you care about this, but if nothing else, it gives you a whole Chinese vocabulary that's tremendously easy to remember the pronunciation of.
Here's what I came up with.
是 shi4 yes, is, true
师 shi1 teacher, part of 老师 (lao3shi1)
十 shi2 ten
时 shi2 hour (sort of), time
事 shi4 event (kind of a weird abstract concept, a bit like "res" in Latin)
石 shi2 stone
室 shi4 room
食 shi4 eat (sort of a weird variant, mainly used when referring to food products)
市 shi4 market
矢 shi3 arrow
试 shi4 test, part of 考试 (kao3shi4 — take a test)
狮 shi1 lion (usually written 狮子 to distinguish it from all the other Shis)
识 shi2 know, part of 认识 (ren4shi2 — to know someone well)
世 shi4 generation
视 shi4 look at, part of 电视 (dian4shi4 — television)
士 shi4 scholar (used mainly in place names, etc)
柿 shi4 persimmon, which I only know because of one of the Chinese words for tomato, 西红柿 (xi1hong2shi4 — literally, Western red persimmon)
I thought, "I've found my photo model."
So, I talked to the little guy, and he inquisitively looked at me, and turned the nut around in his fingers, and went about his nut-munching business.
That is, until I pulled my camera out of my bag, at which point he froze, glared at me, dropped his nut, and ran for the nearest tree like no squirrel had ever run before.
Either he was afraid my camera was going to steal his soul, or, faced with the novel idea of finally seeing his image in print, suddenly realized for the first time in his life that he was naked.
I'm not sure which.
* * *
A discussion earlier about the disadvantages of viewing photos over a very slow dialup connection:
Friend: how did porn get popular before highspeed at home? I just can't see horny guys waiting like this for pictures.
Matt: I know, except back in those days it was kind of like a peepshow
Matt: you see hair
Matt: eyes
Matt: nose
Matt: mouth
Matt: sexy neck
Matt: sexy shoulders
Matt: and OHMYGODTHOSEARESPOOKYBOOBIES!
Friend: LOL
Matt: and then you close the browser window as fast as you can manage
There's a whole long story about spooky boobies, which, instead of telling you now, I'll withhold and let you writhe in unfulfilled anticipation about. Or you can ask this guy.
Really, it's not all that exciting, but it is sort of funny.
* * *
Later on today, during the aforementioned long meeting, my mind was wandering to all sorts of things: watching white sparkles of floatplanes against the mountains outside, thinking that if I wrote a major new work of world religion what it would tell people, and all that.
At one point my mind drifted to a friend's observation after having seen Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon for the first time, when he mused, "You know, I always assumed that Chinese was all wangy, but really, it's nothing but shrr shr shr shrrr shr shr shr? Shr shr shr! Shr shr."
At the time, my studies of Chinese were just beginning, and I knew about 是, which means "yes", "is", "true", and enough other things to justify the "shr" observation all on its own.
During the meeting, now three or so years later, I decided to list off all the "shrs" (or more accurately "shi" in PinYin) that I could think of. I'm not necessarily sure why you care about this, but if nothing else, it gives you a whole Chinese vocabulary that's tremendously easy to remember the pronunciation of.
Here's what I came up with.
是 shi4 yes, is, true
师 shi1 teacher, part of 老师 (lao3shi1)
十 shi2 ten
时 shi2 hour (sort of), time
事 shi4 event (kind of a weird abstract concept, a bit like "res" in Latin)
石 shi2 stone
室 shi4 room
食 shi4 eat (sort of a weird variant, mainly used when referring to food products)
市 shi4 market
矢 shi3 arrow
试 shi4 test, part of 考试 (kao3shi4 — take a test)
狮 shi1 lion (usually written 狮子 to distinguish it from all the other Shis)
识 shi2 know, part of 认识 (ren4shi2 — to know someone well)
世 shi4 generation
视 shi4 look at, part of 电视 (dian4shi4 — television)
士 shi4 scholar (used mainly in place names, etc)
柿 shi4 persimmon, which I only know because of one of the Chinese words for tomato, 西红柿 (xi1hong2shi4 — literally, Western red persimmon)