Lesbia's Sparrow is Dead
One of the strange side-effects of instant message communication is the weird multi-thread asynchrony that sometimes results when multiple conversation topics are in play at the same time, and the answer part to one question ends up paired up with the question part of another.
Such was the case today, when conversation threads regarding 1) dirty latin vocabulary, 2) the need for new official words for fellatio and cunnilingus, and 3) a reference to the clever nicknames a friend devised for a pair of our mutual friends alluding to their penchant for silly sidekick antics, all collided in a beautiful mess of word salad.
"Naming fellatio and cunnilingus Rosencrantz and Guildenstern?!? That's hysterical!"
And, even though the conclusion arose from a total miscommunication, I couldn't agree more. What followed was a roleplay of how this would work in action:
"You know, it's been a while since I've seen Guildenstern around."
"Tell me about it, brother. And Rosencrantz was over just the other day. That's not really all that fair."
"No it's not. Usually they go everywhere together, you know?"
"I know. Maybe we should see how old Guildenstern is doing."
"Oooh! He got a new haircut! How clever!"
"Yep. Guildenstern is pretty fashion savvy that way."
If the real Rosencrantz and Guildenstern had any idea they were being slandered in such a way. . . . (Well, not the Hamlet ones, but you know what I mean). I'll let them fight it out who gets to be which.
* * *
At any rate, on the topic of dirty latin in general (and when I mentioned being "full of dirty latin," I was told it sounds like something that happens in a back alley in Juarez), I've had two different conversations in the past week educating people on the wonders of the poems of Catullus. My favorite has always been this one:
Unfortunately all the full translations I can find of this one are silly/bad/incorrect ones*, and I'm feeling lazy at the moment, but suffice it to say, Catullus is addressing a pet "sparrow, delight of my girl, with whom she plays, and whom she holds in her lap, and gives her finger to peck and incites to bite her. . . ." and he ultimately pleads with the sparrow "to let me play with you, too, so that I myself am able to lighten the cares of a sad spirit."
Yeah, whoever said Latin is dull?
Unfortunately, Catullus was kind of a stalky, creepy fellow, and when his real life crush later refused his advances, he wrote an oddly more famous poem lamenting the sudden death of her little sparrow. Harsh.
*Among other things, anyone who translated her holding the sparrow "to her breast" totally missed the point of what was going on here. . . .
Such was the case today, when conversation threads regarding 1) dirty latin vocabulary, 2) the need for new official words for fellatio and cunnilingus, and 3) a reference to the clever nicknames a friend devised for a pair of our mutual friends alluding to their penchant for silly sidekick antics, all collided in a beautiful mess of word salad.
"Naming fellatio and cunnilingus Rosencrantz and Guildenstern?!? That's hysterical!"
And, even though the conclusion arose from a total miscommunication, I couldn't agree more. What followed was a roleplay of how this would work in action:
"You know, it's been a while since I've seen Guildenstern around."
"Tell me about it, brother. And Rosencrantz was over just the other day. That's not really all that fair."
"No it's not. Usually they go everywhere together, you know?"
"I know. Maybe we should see how old Guildenstern is doing."
"Oooh! He got a new haircut! How clever!"
"Yep. Guildenstern is pretty fashion savvy that way."
If the real Rosencrantz and Guildenstern had any idea they were being slandered in such a way. . . . (Well, not the Hamlet ones, but you know what I mean). I'll let them fight it out who gets to be which.
* * *
At any rate, on the topic of dirty latin in general (and when I mentioned being "full of dirty latin," I was told it sounds like something that happens in a back alley in Juarez), I've had two different conversations in the past week educating people on the wonders of the poems of Catullus. My favorite has always been this one:
passer, deliciae meae puellae,
quicum ludere, quem in sinu tenere,
quoi primum digitum dare adpetenti
et acris solet incitare morsus,
cum desiderio meo nitenti
carum nescio quid libet iocari,
et solaciolum sui doloris,
credo, et cum gravis acquiescit ardor:
tecum ludere, sicut ipsa, possem,
et tristis animi levare curas.
Unfortunately all the full translations I can find of this one are silly/bad/incorrect ones*, and I'm feeling lazy at the moment, but suffice it to say, Catullus is addressing a pet "sparrow, delight of my girl, with whom she plays, and whom she holds in her lap, and gives her finger to peck and incites to bite her. . . ." and he ultimately pleads with the sparrow "to let me play with you, too, so that I myself am able to lighten the cares of a sad spirit."
Yeah, whoever said Latin is dull?
Unfortunately, Catullus was kind of a stalky, creepy fellow, and when his real life crush later refused his advances, he wrote an oddly more famous poem lamenting the sudden death of her little sparrow. Harsh.
*Among other things, anyone who translated her holding the sparrow "to her breast" totally missed the point of what was going on here. . . .