My Little Alien
Apparently Holland is toying with the idea of an artifical insemination reality television program.
This can only end in tears. Based on the progression of other programs like this, can you imagine the mid-season plot twist?
"In order to spice things up a bit, we have replaced one of the samples of sperm with the zygotes of an extraterrestrial life form found frozen in a meteorite recently recovered from a glacier in Antarctica! One of you lucky ladies will have thesingular pleasure of incubating an alien pod creature, which, when bursting forth from the front of your abdomen, will propel you into international fame for being the first human to give birth to an extraterrestrial! Ahem . . . assuming, of course, that its fetal feeding behavior on your internal viscera wasn't disruptive enough to have killed you. A minor risk, I assure you. Let the insemination begin!"
On second thought, maybe they'll take the Average Joe approach and not even tell them that one of the samples was from an alien.
Future Mother of an Alien: Does your pregnancy ever give you abdominal cramping?
Other Future Mother: A little. Are you having problems?
Future Mother of an Alien: Yeah, between that, the ceasless growling and snarling from inside, the sulfuric acid in my stools — we've gone through three different toilet bowls now — and the occasional exodus of the fetus at night to feed on the rabbits out back . . . I just don't know how most pregnant mothers cope with it. . . .
This can only end in tears. Based on the progression of other programs like this, can you imagine the mid-season plot twist?
"In order to spice things up a bit, we have replaced one of the samples of sperm with the zygotes of an extraterrestrial life form found frozen in a meteorite recently recovered from a glacier in Antarctica! One of you lucky ladies will have thesingular pleasure of incubating an alien pod creature, which, when bursting forth from the front of your abdomen, will propel you into international fame for being the first human to give birth to an extraterrestrial! Ahem . . . assuming, of course, that its fetal feeding behavior on your internal viscera wasn't disruptive enough to have killed you. A minor risk, I assure you. Let the insemination begin!"
On second thought, maybe they'll take the Average Joe approach and not even tell them that one of the samples was from an alien.
Future Mother of an Alien: Does your pregnancy ever give you abdominal cramping?
Other Future Mother: A little. Are you having problems?
Future Mother of an Alien: Yeah, between that, the ceasless growling and snarling from inside, the sulfuric acid in my stools — we've gone through three different toilet bowls now — and the occasional exodus of the fetus at night to feed on the rabbits out back . . . I just don't know how most pregnant mothers cope with it. . . .