Ceci n'est pas une palourde
Matt: I'd like the chirashizushi, but with no clams.
Sushi Woman: The chirashi don?
Matt: Yes.
Sushi Woman: No clams.
Matt: No clams. I'm allergic to them.
Sushi Woman: Okay.
[a few minutes later, my bowl of sushi is brought out, and right in front are two bright red clams]
Matt: Excuse me? It looks like there are clams on here. Can I get those switched out?
Sushi Woman: Those are not clams.
Matt: [points at clams]
Sushi Woman: Those are not clams.
Matt: I believe they are.
Sushi Woman: No. Not clams. [turns to Sushi Man] What are these?
Sushi Man: Hokkigai. Surf clams.
Sushi Woman: See, not clams. Surf clams. Different.
Sushi Man: [interrupting] No, surf clam is a clam. He cannot eat clams?
Sushi Woman: . . .
Matt: [to Sushi Man] Right. Clams make me very sick.
Sushi Woman: Only fish?
Matt: Fish, or shrimp, or crab, or octopus – all those are okay.
Sushi Woman: Okay. Take off the clams, then.
I'm not exactly sure what the woman intended to prove by lying to me about the clams. I'm sure my stomach, when violently ejecting its contents, would have been a pretty fair test.
If any of it had gotten on that woman, I think she would have had it coming. . . .
Sushi Woman: The chirashi don?
Matt: Yes.
Sushi Woman: No clams.
Matt: No clams. I'm allergic to them.
Sushi Woman: Okay.
[a few minutes later, my bowl of sushi is brought out, and right in front are two bright red clams]
Matt: Excuse me? It looks like there are clams on here. Can I get those switched out?
Sushi Woman: Those are not clams.
Matt: [points at clams]
Sushi Woman: Those are not clams.
Matt: I believe they are.
Sushi Woman: No. Not clams. [turns to Sushi Man] What are these?
Sushi Man: Hokkigai. Surf clams.
Sushi Woman: See, not clams. Surf clams. Different.
Sushi Man: [interrupting] No, surf clam is a clam. He cannot eat clams?
Sushi Woman: . . .
Matt: [to Sushi Man] Right. Clams make me very sick.
Sushi Woman: Only fish?
Matt: Fish, or shrimp, or crab, or octopus – all those are okay.
Sushi Woman: Okay. Take off the clams, then.
I'm not exactly sure what the woman intended to prove by lying to me about the clams. I'm sure my stomach, when violently ejecting its contents, would have been a pretty fair test.
If any of it had gotten on that woman, I think she would have had it coming. . . .