ESL...-E-A-Z-E
While at a coffee shop today, I observed what was probably the world's creepiest ESL teacher, a single man in his 40s having an "educational" conversation with two Japanese ESL students in their late teens.
ESL Teacher: Do you want anything to eat? Either of you?
Japanese ESL Student Girls: [inaudible]
ESL Teacher: Oh you're on a diet? How about you? Are you on a diet too?
ESL Teacher: You want to lose weight? . . . Not lose my weight. "I want to lose weight."
ESL Teacher: That's right. How many pounds?
ESL Teacher: Oh, you only know kilograms. How many kilograms do you want to lose?
ESL Teacher: And what about you? How many kilograms do you want to lose?
ESL Teacher: How many have you lost so far? And you?
ESL Teacher: You look good. Both of you look good.
. . .
ESL Teacher: You found your apartment on the internet? On Craigslist? Craig. C-R-A-I-G. List.
Japanese ESL Student Girls: [attempt to look up Craigslist in their electronic translator]
ESL Teacher: That's how I found my new house. Did I tell you? I'm buying a new condominium.
ESL Teacher: Yes, so when you come back from Japan later this year, if you have me as your ESL teacher again, you have a free place to stay.
ESL Teacher: That's right, no rent.
ESL Teacher: No, there's room for both of you. It's a two bedroom. Yes, two bedrooms. You can both stay.
ESL Teacher: And we can practice your English all day long.
ESL Teacher: So let me know when you're coming back. Right?
I'm sure all of this wasn't actually as bad as it sounded. Right? Right?
ESL Teacher: Do you want anything to eat? Either of you?
Japanese ESL Student Girls: [inaudible]
ESL Teacher: Oh you're on a diet? How about you? Are you on a diet too?
ESL Teacher: You want to lose weight? . . . Not lose my weight. "I want to lose weight."
ESL Teacher: That's right. How many pounds?
ESL Teacher: Oh, you only know kilograms. How many kilograms do you want to lose?
ESL Teacher: And what about you? How many kilograms do you want to lose?
ESL Teacher: How many have you lost so far? And you?
ESL Teacher: You look good. Both of you look good.
. . .
ESL Teacher: You found your apartment on the internet? On Craigslist? Craig. C-R-A-I-G. List.
Japanese ESL Student Girls: [attempt to look up Craigslist in their electronic translator]
ESL Teacher: That's how I found my new house. Did I tell you? I'm buying a new condominium.
ESL Teacher: Yes, so when you come back from Japan later this year, if you have me as your ESL teacher again, you have a free place to stay.
ESL Teacher: That's right, no rent.
ESL Teacher: No, there's room for both of you. It's a two bedroom. Yes, two bedrooms. You can both stay.
ESL Teacher: And we can practice your English all day long.
ESL Teacher: So let me know when you're coming back. Right?
I'm sure all of this wasn't actually as bad as it sounded. Right? Right?