2010.02.21 Welcome to effing Vancouver
2010.02.02 Evolution of a New iPhone User
2010.01.30 Who is Who?
2010.01.26 Fast . . . food
2009.12.13 Iceland
2009.10.25 Eye of the Tiger
2009.10.24 Contemplating the Orb
2009.10.08 Canary IQ Test
2009.06.01 Flickr Fubar
2009.05.31 Five Years Later
2009.05.21 The Nacho Incident
2009.04.10 Tax Time
2009.03.25 Hey asshole!
2009.03.15 Egg a la Mode
2009.03.05 The things you think about
2009.02.25 The Whole Enchilada
2009.02.15 Canadian Enough
2009.02.14 An Essay by Matt
2009.01.18 Why the religious persecution, S.C.?
2009.01.17 Poked with pointy things!
2009.01.15 Musical Citizenship
2009.01.12 Baron von Bejeweled
2008.12.19 Age of Steam
2008.12.14 Must work on the French
2008.12.13 Border Crossing
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The Nacho Incident
Around 6pm, after long day at work and a downtown haircut, I sit down in an empty seat in the so-called Mexican restaurant on Granville Street. The song "Ohio" by Bowling for Soup plays loudly on the sound system.

♫ There's nothing wrong with Ohio ♫
♫ Except the snow and the rain. ♫

"What can I get you, buddy?" asks a friendly bartender in a weather-beaten Texas Longhorns cap.

"Got Granville Island Pale Ale?" I ask.

"Sure thing. I'll be right back with it."

♫It's just not the same since you went away. ♫
♫ Before you lose your accent ♫
♫ And forget all about the Lonestar State, ♫

A couple of minutes later, the bartender in the UT cap returns with the beer. "Got any questions about the menu?"

"Yeah," I say, having learned the ropes about how Mexican food works around here. "The enchiladas. Are those corn tortillas or flour ones in those?"

The bartender looks a little surprised that I'd ask the question, and gives me a long, searching stare.

♫ There's a seat for you at the rodeo, ♫

After probably a full ten seconds of silence, he seems to conclude that I may be the real thing, and then adopts an expression awash with heartfelt sympathy.

"Flour. Yeah, they use flour tortillas in the enchiladas. I'm sorry, man. The nachos here aren't bad, though. I promise."

♫ Besides, the Mexican food sucks north of here anyway. ♫
♫ Besides, the Mexican food sucks north of here anyway. ♫