Meet the Parents
"Perhaps it's better anyway that you meet my parents earlier in the week. Rather than on Christmas Eve. When there's so much commotion happening and all."
"Just what do you mean by 'commotion'? Is there something I don't know?"
"Well. I just feel bad for you if the first time you met my parents was during the big Christmas orgy they throw each year. You know, with all the sex and everything it might be a little awkward."
"Orgy."
"Of course."
"I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable participating in that kind of thing. Is . . . uh . . . everyone included?"
"Oh goodness, yes. Every person. You must be there."
"Um. . . ."
"And you must join in the sex, of course."
"Just . . . uh . . . us? Or would we have to mix things up?"
"It wouldn't be much of an orgy if you and I were antisocial, would it? Where's your festive spirit? Sex for everyone. That's how it works. Lots and lots of Christmas sex."
"Well, your grandmother is very sweet, but I don't think I feel about her quite that way."
"Oh. Such a pity. And she's so been looking forward to getting to know you better, you know. Very well, then. But if you back out, my family might perceive you as kind of stuffy. . . ."
"I can live with that."
"All right. I'll let them know. They'll be terribly disappointed."
"Just what do you mean by 'commotion'? Is there something I don't know?"
"Well. I just feel bad for you if the first time you met my parents was during the big Christmas orgy they throw each year. You know, with all the sex and everything it might be a little awkward."
"Orgy."
"Of course."
"I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable participating in that kind of thing. Is . . . uh . . . everyone included?"
"Oh goodness, yes. Every person. You must be there."
"Um. . . ."
"And you must join in the sex, of course."
"Just . . . uh . . . us? Or would we have to mix things up?"
"It wouldn't be much of an orgy if you and I were antisocial, would it? Where's your festive spirit? Sex for everyone. That's how it works. Lots and lots of Christmas sex."
"Well, your grandmother is very sweet, but I don't think I feel about her quite that way."
"Oh. Such a pity. And she's so been looking forward to getting to know you better, you know. Very well, then. But if you back out, my family might perceive you as kind of stuffy. . . ."
"I can live with that."
"All right. I'll let them know. They'll be terribly disappointed."