2009.12.13 Iceland
2009.10.25 Eye of the Tiger
2009.03.25 Hey asshole!
2009.03.15 Egg a la Mode
2009.01.17 Poked with pointy things!
2009.01.12 Baron von Bejeweled
2008.11.30 Ninja 411
2008.11.25 Hiccup
2008.10.19 Roar
2008.09.09 Generation Gap
2008.09.07 Great Uncle Ionuț
2008.08.22 Dream Expert
2008.03.17 Pinch
2008.03.11 A cabbage roll in the hand
2008.03.04 Hamster Stalking
2007.12.19 What the hell is a Wang Chung?
2007.12.18 All That Junk Inside Your Trunk
2007.12.13 Brain On Drugs
2007.12.07 Death by Facebook
2007.11.28 Yellow Ring of Texas
2007.10.12 Be My Hallowentine
2006.12.24 Makes Can Feud
2006.12.02 "Terrirsts Hate Ahr Freedom"
2006.11.13 I want my jukebox dime back
2006.11.12 Lewis and Clark and Twining's
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Lewis and Clark and Twining's
"Funny how when they taught us about Lewis and Clark in school, they left out all their plans for womanizing, what with their ample supply of prophylactics and penis syringes and whatnot. . . ."

"You know, I told you about all that, but the joke was really on them, because when they were hanging out with the first nations groups, they were horrified that the native women would sit crosslegged, exposing their vaginas for anyone who cared to look: 'Oh well, here's my vagina — sure is drafty!'"

"Not so much use out of the sexual supplies after that?"

"No, not so much. Kind of took the excitement out of it for them."

* * *

Later, at De Dutch Pancake House:

"Hm. . . . you know, perhaps rather than this icy water, I'd rather have some hot tea. But they don't have loose tea here, so it's not quite as exciting."

"Yeah, those Dutch Canadians, nothing but proper, prudish tea for them. None of that racy loose stuff."

"And I wanted my tea to sit crosslegged and show me its vagina. But I'll take what I can get I suppose. . . ."