IKEA Stool
Having just moved into a new house, we've made the most of any excuse to make an IKEA run — so much so, in fact, that the question is no longer, "Want to go to IKEA?" but but has become, "Richmond or Coquitlam this time?"
The one mystery about IKEA, however, whose explanation truly eludes me, is the cryptic all-symbolic 100%-language-free instruction manual which usually accompanies any piece of their assemble-yourself furniture. Often most of the warnings are self evident, but at least a few for each piece of furniture entirely defy interpretation.
Consider:
Your new footstool would be nicely accessorized with a 100Kg purse.
Your new footstool cannot be used as a bookmark.
Your new footstool cannot be used as a bookmark no matter how hard you try.
Your new footstool cannot drive uphill.
Your new footstool is not a work of art.
Ce n'est pas un footstool.
Your new footstool cannot control the weather.
Your new footstool may be smaller than it first appears.
Your new footstool cannot be used as a pair of shoes.
Leaping from your new footstool into an open refrigerator may destroy your genitals.
The one mystery about IKEA, however, whose explanation truly eludes me, is the cryptic all-symbolic 100%-language-free instruction manual which usually accompanies any piece of their assemble-yourself furniture. Often most of the warnings are self evident, but at least a few for each piece of furniture entirely defy interpretation.
Consider:
Your new footstool would be nicely accessorized with a 100Kg purse. Your new footstool cannot be used as a bookmark. Your new footstool cannot be used as a bookmark no matter how hard you try. Your new footstool cannot drive uphill. Your new footstool is not a work of art. Ce n'est pas un footstool. Your new footstool cannot control the weather. Your new footstool may be smaller than it first appears. Your new footstool cannot be used as a pair of shoes. Leaping from your new footstool into an open refrigerator may destroy your genitals.