2013.05.09 Needles, man
2011.08.16 Tex-dar
2010.10.11 The Definition of Ugly
2010.02.21 Welcome to effing Vancouver
2010.01.30 Who is Who?
2010.01.26 Fast . . . food
2009.01.18 Why the religious persecution, S.C.?
2008.11.08 A Funnier Thing I've Seen Lately
2008.09.05 Litterbug
2008.08.17 Boozing it up
2008.03.11 ESL...-E-A-Z-E
2008.01.21 No Pirates Were Harmed
2007.12.09 Chirp
2007.11.18 Opening Day
2007.10.24 Wii
2007.09.30 For all your bleakness needs
2007.06.08 Let the Italy Stories Begin
2007.05.12 Not Quite Match.com
2007.02.11 Now That's Service
2006.11.19 Brustpolitik
2006.10.20 Their calamari is crispier
2006.10.17 Phrasebook
2006.09.27 Five people
2006.09.24 I saw it I swear
2006.09.21 Ni Shuo ShenMe?
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Now That's Service
An older Chinese woman stands in the middle of the large Chapters bookstore at Metrotown Mall, looking a little lost.

A tall blond-haired bookstore associate walks up to her and offers help.

Bookstore Guy: Hi, are you finding everything all right?
Woman: Uh, yes.
Bookstore Guy: Are you sure? Is there anything I could help you find?
Woman: No. Thanks.
Bookstore Guy: 如果你喜歡我說漢語. (If you prefer, I can speak Chinese.)
Woman: . . . [Obviously perplexed that this 6 foot tall blond-haired, blue-eyed guy is speaking to her in her native tongue.]
Bookstore Guy: 你找什麼書? (What book are you looking for?)
Woman: 我要一本股票的書! (I want a Gupiao book!)
Bookstore Guy: 股票嗎? 不知道"股票"的含義. ("Gupiao"? I don't know the meaning of "Gupiao.")
Woman: 股票. Uh, 錢的股票. 知道嗎? Um. . . . (Gupiao. Uh, money Gupiao. You know?)
Bookstore Guy: Uh, just a minute. Please.

At this point the bookstore guy comes whizzing past me in a whirlwind of movement, and snatches a Chinese-English dictionary off a shelf nearby.

Bookstore Guy: [to himself] Gupiao. Gupiao. Crap.

He runs back over to the woman, who has been patiently waiting.

Bookstore Guy: [looking slightly exaspirated] 對不起. 不知道"股票". (I'm sorry. I don't know "Gupiao".)
Another woman standing nearby: Stock.
Bookstore Guy: [startled to be answered by someone other than the woman] Excuse me?
Another woman standing nearby: Gupiao means "stocks," like stocks and mutual funds.
Bookstore Guy: Oh! Okay! Right over here then!