Unusual Romanian Jobs
Like any European country, Romania has its fair share of run-of-the-mill normal jobs: construction workers, shop workers, restauranteurs, lawyers, doctors, dentists (there are tons, and judging from the status of people's teeth, you'd think there should be even more) — you get the idea.
But there are a number of jobs I've run across here which, admittedly, I've never actually encountered anywhere else, at least not in their Romanian forms:
Parking Guy – "Every country has those parking lot flag guys," you claim, but no, this guy takes it to the next level. We first encountered Parking Guy in Bucuresti. Parking Guy's job is to stand in front of a little ragged-yet-vaguely-official barricade blocking a street parking space, and to wave at various cars passing by who look like they're looking to park. If a car slows down and the driver rolls down the window to talk, Parking Guy asks for around 5 Lei to park. The motorist hands over the money, and Parking Guy drags his barrier out of the current parking spot and into another free parking spot somewhere. That's right, you're paying Parking Guy about $2 essentially so he can squat in a parking spot and protect it from anyone who came along previously but wasn't willing to pay him. Or, mroe cynically, you're paying Parking Guy for the privelege of being able park in an already free parking spot. It's quite a racket.
Windshield Wiper Guy – Once again, you're going to say, "Wait a minute, every big city has those homeless guys who'll wipe your car windshield for a quick buck," and you'd be right, but do other cities have guys who'll sell you a brand new windshield washer blade, right there in the street, for a quick buck? I never got a chance to see whether Windshield Wiper Guy will even install the new blade for you, or if you're just supposed to thank him, toss the new wiper blade into your passenger seat, and put it on once you're at home.
Caroling Kid – Many countries have Christmastime traditions of youth walking in groups from door to door and singing Christmas songs. In most of those countries, whoever, the kids don't hold out their hands expecting a fat wad of cash afterwards. Bastards.
Goat Dancer Guy – Not at all related to southern US fraternity initiation rites. Goat Dancers are Caroling Kid's New Year cousin — teenagers and young adults who dress up in elaborate (and more than a little eerie) goat costumes and go door to door dancing, and, you guessed it, asking for money. At least in this case they're really trying, with an effect very similar to Chinese Lion Dancers at Lunar New Year. "But what about Caroling Kid? He's trying, right?!?" You didn't hear that kid sing — I was considering paying him to be quiet.
Spoon Carver Guy – He carves wooden spoons. That's about it. I guess someone has to do it, but there's allegedly a whole gypsy caste or guild exclusively devoted to spoon carving.
Tuica Dealers – Not only is moonshine plum brandy a more-or-less legal home tradition around here, in some high-traffic villages, it's even a tourist trade. "Hey, can I have two of the Dracula plaques, a few carved spoons (cf. Spoon Carver Guy), one of the carved wooden animated penis guys* , and . . . oh . . . one of those two liter bottles of vaguely urine-colored 80 proof stuff. I have some paint to thin at home."
Honey Woman – Despite any sugegstive connotations (you do in fact see her handing around on the side of the road), Honey Woman operates a huge wooden camping trailer whose starboard side presumably includes a bed and small kitchen, and whose port side is bricked bow-to-stern in brightly colored beehives. How Honey Woman keeps the bees out of her own living quarters is a mystery, as is how Honey Woman's trailer inexplicably moves from one roadside area to another with no actual vehicle ever to be seen, but it doesn't stop her from setting up a table every morning stacked up with dozens of jars of honey, and selling them to passing motorists.
Cheese Lady – Possibly for the Honey Woman who can no longer stand the daily buzz of the honey industry, but doesn't want to quit the roadside vending show entirely. Cheese Lady has a minuscule little trailer (think 5 feet square) filled with stacks of round-cake-shaped wheels of cheese. For those long trips when you're driving along, miels from home, and suddenly realize you're absolutely, completely, and totally out of cheese. Cheese Lady is there to save the day.
* The craftmanship and mechanisms of these carved wooden animated penis figurines is quite ingenious — one example had a ooden plank with a cute little carved and hand-painted man and woman. When you pressed the top of the little man's head, not only did a large wooden penis swing up from beneath his traditional little Romanian shepherd's trousers, but the brightly colored dress of his peasant girlfriend jumped up over her head to reveal intricately painted nether bits, into which the man's carved wooden penis nestled itself. For a mental picture, think anatomically correct Russian Matroshka dolls. If these skills had been applied to "real" toys, poor Romanian peasant kids would have a lot more to play with than balls of sheep poop.**
** A veiled reference to a joke I've heard here. A poor peasant guy with no money is sad that he can't afford to get his kids anything for Christmas. Looking down just then, he spots an intruigingly shaped conglomeration of sheep poops, and, inspired, thinks, "Hey, I could make them a toy out of this. And, it's so cold, it won't even smell bad." So, as he walks home, he crafts the poop into a delicate figurine of St. Matthew. He gives the little St. Matthew icon to his kids, who are pleased, but begin to be irritated that the frozen figurine is too cold in their little hands, so before going to bed they put St. Matthew in the oven to warm up. First thing in the morning, the house is filled with a terrible stink, and the soudns of the t wo little kids shrieking, "Mama! Tata! St. Matthew's not here anymore! He took a shit and ran away!"
I don't really know what peasant kids actually play with, but I haven't seen eveidence of much except for the occasional cloth or wooden doll which isn't near as ingenious as the naughty one.
But there are a number of jobs I've run across here which, admittedly, I've never actually encountered anywhere else, at least not in their Romanian forms:
I don't really know what peasant kids actually play with, but I haven't seen eveidence of much except for the occasional cloth or wooden doll which isn't near as ingenious as the naughty one.